I'm going to go a little Peggy Post on you, so hold onto your hats!
Here's a little post I'd like to call "Wedding Guest 101":
- When the couple provides you with detailed directions and a map to get to their site, please use it!
- It's not impersonal to mail your gifts, in fact it's preferred.
- When the couple provides information on suggested attire and shoes, listen=)
- During the ceremony please keep your cell phones on silent
- Please don't hog the Bride and Groom after the ceremony, they have pictures to take, and the sooner they get them done, the sooner they can spend time with you=)
- Cocktail hour is an hour long. It's been part of the traditional wedding for a long time, it is used for the Bride and Groom, their family and wedding party to take photos, and sign the marriage license.
- During toasts please listen, put yourself in the shoes of the toaster.
- Please note that toasts are pre-planned, you are not welcome to grab the microphone and start speaking. If you would like to give a last minute toast, ask the consultant first, then she'll get permission from the Bride and Groom, and schedule you into the day.
- Please have your escort cards or place cards visable so that the waitstaff can see what you've ordered and serve you in a timely manner.
- Please keep in mind that the Bride and Groom have told their caterer specific counts of what kind of each entree their guests would like to have, changing your mind at the last minute is a hardship for the caterer.
- Please do not visit the Bride and Groom at their table, they are eating! They are trying to eat fast so that they can come visit you at your tables.
- While the Bride and Groom are visiting your table please don't hog them! They have lots more tables to visit, and you'll have other opportunites thoughout the night to see them.
- Please keep in mind that usually the first dance, parent dances, and then some open dancing occur before cake cutting. If you are in a big rush to leave, please note that it will be at least 45 minutes after first dance for cake cutting if you'd like to stay and enjoy some.
- The first set of dancing is family friendly and couple friendly for all ages, if you stay later in the night note that the music stylings may not be your taste, they are louder and for the younger crowd.
- If there is a bouquet and garter toss please get out there and try to catch it! It makes the Bride and Groom's experience much better if they don't have to beg people to participate.
- Sometimes the centerpieces are available for taking home, if they are someone will tell you, otherwise the containers they are in could be rentals, please don't take them without asking first.
- The general rule of thumb at a wedding is that if there is a consultant we have already planned a timeline with the Bride and Groom, and it's how they hope their day will go. If you feel that something should be different please keep it to yourself, there is a reason for everything. For example, sometimes the Bride doesn't want to dance with her Father, sometimes the Groom doesn't want to dance with his Mom, sometimes the Bride doesn't want to toss her bouquet, etc... That's a personal choice.
- Another good rule is to not freak out the Bride and Groom, if something is wrong, please don't tell them, tell the consultant and we'll handle it.
- Just like in my ABC's of being a good wedding party, please keep in mind that as a guest of a wedding, or any event, the host has every intention to please you, if you don't like the event, please keep it to yourself and be gracious. This day is about the Bride and Groom, not you.
I know some of this advice is harsh, but it's good to know! I wouldn't write about it if there weren't problems with these issues at each wedding we do. They are all common sense, but sometimes people forget their manners, and that hurts the Bride and Groom's chances of enjoying their day to it's fullest.
Warmest Regards,
Nicole
